forever longing for jannah.

you got two choices,
and a life time to make your choice.

infinite bliss?
or temporary fading happiness?

when i stand before him,
i want to have answers.

i choose you, ya allah.

the history of love.

"If I had a camera," I said, "I'd take a picture of you every day. That way I'd remember how you looked every single day of your life."
"I look exactly the same."
"No, you don't. You're changing all the time. Every day a tiny bit. If I could, I'd keep a record of it all."
"If you're so smart, how did I change today?"
"You got a fraction of a millimeter taller, for one thing. Your hair grew a fraction of a millimeter longer."
"They did not!"
"Yes, they did."
"Did not "
"Did too."
"What else?"
"You got a little happier and also a little sadder."
"Meaning they cancel each other out, leaving me exactly the same."
"Not at all. The fact that you got a little happier today doesn't change the fact that you also became a little sadder. Every day you become a little more of both, which means that right now, at this exact moment, you're the happiest and the saddest you've ever been in your whole life."
"How do you know?"
"Think about it. Have you ever been happier than right now, lying here in the grass?"
"I guess not. No."
"And have you ever been sadder?"
"No."
"It isn't like that for everyone, you know. Some people, like your sister, just get happier and happier everyday. And some people, like Beyla Asch, just get sadder and sadder. And some people, like you, get both."
"What about you? Are you the happiest and saddest right now that you've ever been?"
"Of course I am."
"Why?"
"Because nothing makes me happier and nothing makes me sadder than you."

the non-perks of being a tree.

if you were a tree,
people would be the leaves.
leaves, fall.
leaves, leave.

care free as care free could be.

a perfectly loud silent conversation with you.
dwelling in nothingness.
hours of coloring.
music in the background.
laughter.
colors.
you.
and me.

blank.

it's raining inside my head.

there's a storm.

and rain.

the being in love.

the waiting.
the exhilaration.
how time speeds up and then slows all of a sudden.
the stomach turning, and the butterflies.
the details.
the little things.
and all the words you say.
and all the words you don't. can't.

how you nearly experience being out of your own body. being out of you.
when they are only, close enough.

you are thirsty. for them.

magnets.

two poles of a magnet,
they are one.
attracting and repelling through infinity.
i need me you.
you need you, me.
they are one.
one pole ceases to exist without the other.
we are one.